Make Thanksgiving Happy Again
If families haven’t already started gathering, they will be in the next few hours. The big meal is upon us. According to a CNN poll that came out yesterday, though people are thankful for family most are dreading the dinner conversation. Really? I can’t imagine why that would be the case this year (the sarcasm is thick in my head).
With announcements of Trump’s cabinet picks slowly coming in and updates on Clinton’s popular vote victory margin now over 2 million, the tension of the election hasn’t really let up. Some families gathering today will have people who all voted the same, but many will have a red and blue split to some degree or another. In light of this, how do we keep Thanksgiving happy and avoid throwing drumpsticks at one another?
Remember that family is more important than politics.
The New York Times posted a GREAT article last week called, “How Could You? 19 Questions to Ask Loved Ones Who Voted the Other Way.” The first two questions are: 1. Describe your relationship to me. 2. Are we close? This is a brilliant approach to the conversation because it immediately establishes what should be priority. Family relationships will go on much longer after Trump’s time of being President comes to an end. Frame conversation with this in mind. Plus, some of these people are the same ones who will be Christmas shopping for you tomorrow. Don’t ruin your gift chances with a fight today.
Remember that there are real people affected by the issues at hand.
One of the biggest things that has been talked about over the last couple weeks is the need for people to listen and understand one another. This holiday may be the first opportunity for some to do that. This is a reality: some people think differently than you do, some people are affected by issues that you aren’t affected by. Even if everyone around your dinner table does resonate with you, that isn’t justification to minimize or discredit the struggles people at other tables are genuinely having. It’s easy on social media to talk flippantly about generalized issues. Calling people sore losers, whiners or snowflakes to a screen doesn’t take any effort, but it also lacks any sense of empathy or decency. For example, you may not know any immigrants who are genuninely and rightly concerned about their futures under a Trump presidency, but how would you talk about them and these issues if they were sitting across the table from you?
Remember that it is called Thanksgiving for a reason.
It would be great to spend more time today laughing than arguing, more time reminicing than debating. But that will only happen if people make the conscious choice to do so. Choose to be thankful and put that first. You may need to set the boundary that the election isn’t a topic of discussion.
If it is unavoidable, then you may need to establish groundrules for discussion — we can only talk about this if we agree to be civil, respectful and that agreeing to disagree is an acceptable conclusion. However, sharing why we are thankful for one another would be such a better conversation than the election results. If families are going to fight today, then let it be over something like Monopoly, Phase-10 or football games. If you need a topic of conversation then choose something less controversial than politics, like religion (hehe). Either may…choose to make it a Happy Thanksgiving by choosing to be thankful over everything else.
